Had I Not

The following Poem is dedicated to my husband/partner/personal counselor.

HAD I NOT

Had I not listened to you

I would’ve

I could’ve

and should’ve

So many times so little space to make mistakes

But just maybe I would have

never been with you

or could’ve wake up next to you every morning.

Maybe I should’ve, but didn’t

and I’m so glad I didn’t

listen to you.

Because I get to wake up next to you everyday

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Freedom to Live and Be You

To often for many of us,no matter where on this beautiful planet, our freedoms are abused and/or neglected.

I want to start off by saying Happy 4th of July to those celebrating this holiday.

May your romantic relationships lead to a life long partnerships, with movie nights filled with all the popcorn you can eat.

Freedom in my relationship with my new husband means being myself and in turn he does the same.

It also means choosing to spend the rest of our time together on our journey as man and women, two individuals with different ideas, goals and likes that come and work together while placing kindness, respect and personal growth as the guides for their journey.

I am wishing all my readers, regardless of gender, race and current economic standing a beautiful life, filled with the love, respect and freedom from both self and societal limitations.

Mercedes E. Cruz
Sending love and wishes for a fun-filled extended weekend.

Given a Chance

Dear Mercedes Cruz Romance Readers,

Yesterday my wonderful partner and I wed in a small ceremony with close friends and family.

When I first met my partner, I gave him a chance, we dated,argued, slowed down, and even seriously contemplated breaking up on several occasions.

Through it all we continued to move forward in our lives; me publishing my stories and he getting his college degree.

Given a chance we can all work together.

Partnerships aren’t created over night, they’re created when the storm gets it’s worse, when you’re both holding on to a bag full of rocks while staring up at the top of the mountain.

We are proof that when two people are determined to get to the same place together, every obstacle steps aside and they move forward.

I wish you dear reader no matter your self-imposed title (single,dating, friends, married) a romantic relationship filled with Joy, Respect and above all Personal Growth.

With Love and Respect
Mercedes E. Cruz
XOXO

Try, Meet and Greet (How doing things together brings us closer)

Summer is here, and that means more outdoor activities, including concerts, cook-outs, new places to visit.

As one half of my partnership with my fiancé; and future husband, I am the one almost always reading about events happening in our city. Including concerts, plays, free events, new exhibits,new places to eat, a new meal to try.

Basically I’m up for trying anything once or more if I like it. I feel the need to learn on a constant basis and trying new things together as a couple is part of that learning constantly.

Also being local tourist is less expensive than traveling for us; as least for now as we prepare for our up coming wedding.

The other part of this is meeting new people, meeting up with old friends and family, doing these activities strengthens both our own personal relationship with ourselves as individuals and our partnership.

The last part is greet, yes greet. As humans we are naturally curious and by staying open to the new and unknown we continue to learn and grow.

By greeting the unknown with an open mind we are forced to consider the world from a different point of view if only for a moment.

Thank you dear reader,

Stay Beautiful

Mercedes E. Cruz

P.S. Stay Tuned, I have been working on a wonderful short e-book for couples. It will be released soon and will be offered on my blog for a limited time. I will be sending out a separate email with the link.

 

 

 

Keeping Your Fears (Exercise for couples)

Yes fears are real, really annoying. Every day I face a fear sometimes a new one or even an old fear that lingers around like a shadow waiting for me to wake up to show me it’s still alive and well.

I have several fears they mainly consist of the usual things, money, weight, the past and the future. Some of these are things I can’t control, like my past or my future. However I can prepare how I will react, by facing my fears.

Fear is a feeling of perceived danger or threat. So I have allowed this feeling of “perceived” danger so partake in my daily thoughts.

Finally I no longer want to allow my fears to keep driving my daily decisions, so I have decide on a new course of action. It involves keeping fear around, yes keeping fear around (you read that right).

However Mr. and Mrs. Fear will no longer live in my head but on paper.

Writing my fears down and seeing it on paper will allow me to address it, by addressing it and replacing my fears. For every fear I write I will write a new sentence that replaces it with a new clear and positive joy filled one.

My goal is to eradicate one fear every week. I’m guessing some fears might take longer and others might take me less time.

But if this exercise works, we (fiancé and I) will be closer and stronger as a couple.

So go ahead try this exercise with me and keep your fear on paper.

Exercise

  1. Get a note-book, piece of paper, fancy napkin (if you can write on it and carry it with you it works).
  1. Write down your top 3 fears (leaving plenty of space between each sentence).
  1. Underneath the first fear write a new sentence. This new sentence should reflect how you want to feel and should make you feel good about yourself when you read it out loud. The word “I am” is an important part of this new sentence.
  1. Read your new sentence to yourself daily, several times a day for one whole week, carry it with you everywhere. (You might want to take a picture of the sentence, write it in your notes on you smart phone).

P.S. Let me know what you think of this exercise, or if you have any thoughts or ideas of your own about dealing with fear.

Most importantly if you do the exercise please share in the comments below.

Stay Beautiful

Mercedes Cruz

SEX AND I ARE FRIENDS- Poem

Today’s blog post is a Poem for you dear reader. 

Happy Memorial Day.

Stay Beautiful
Mercedes E.Cruz

SEX AND I ARE FRIENDS

Sex and I we play together sometimes just the two of us and sometimes with my fiancé, yes a threesome.

SEX and I have a long history together, even before we met. I heard many things about SEX. Some good some not so great.

The stories and tales about SEX all started at home from my siblings, my friends, in jokes and whispers, from the T.V. shows and radio stations.

I wasn’t sure what to expect before I met SEX. After all until then SEX was a mystery, something only for adults or those young bad-ass kids, who broke rules and ventured out to meet SEX in the dark in the  middle of the night.

But when I met you, SEX somehow I forgot what was said and you proved them wrong.

I stepped up to the plate and met you in the light of the day and the night too, whenever and wherever, we could. I could feel you talk to me and when I was scared you let me take my time getting to know you.

That’s why SEX you and I are friends.

Silver and Gold; When Having it All Means Being Happy Now

Silver and Gold, Rich and Happy, Smart and Popular just some of the things many including myself want in our lives.

But obtaining those things today or tomorrow makes no real difference. Yes a difference at the moment and in our pockets. But where it really matters in our relationships with ourselves and others, material things don’t matter.

Not everyone values the same things and accepting that your material things will never make you happy is the first step to being Happy now.

I re-learn this lesson almost weekly.

Just when I think that having something, doing or knowing someone will change my life for the better and that some how I will be a different person, that garbage goes out the door with the rest of my money.

No one but me knows how or why I want the things I want and of course I believe this is true for anyone else. No one else feels or understand why we want what we want.

But out of the dozens of times that I’ve reached my goals I have yet to feel like a different person.

Amazingly the times that have changed as a person were the roughest times in my life, when I thought that I wouldn’t survive and wanted to just give up. Outrageous and surreal moments, emotion roller coasters.

When you’re happy for all that you have right now, in the present moment, the good and bad, it all equals to silver and gold.

Wishing you silver and gold moments.
XOXO
Mercedes E. Cruz

Fall Back to Love – When all else fails, fall back in love.

Few times a year I experience the “can it get any worse” syndrome.

True this is my own experience, so I alone, at that moment might be considering it as the “worse”.

Never mind the truth, all that is going on around me is happening in my head.

Regardless of how bad the situation really is I realize now that there is an out.A better way to experience that moment, regardless of what I see around me.

One very solid choice I have made recently is to let go of the idea in my mind that I must give up on my goals, simply because of one situation.

Resolving to move forward is of course, easier said than done.

However, when I allow myself to appreciate who and what I have in my life. The feeling of “can it get worse” slowing starts to disappear.

This method of realizing what I have in my life is equal to falling back in love with myself and others.

Falling back in love with myself often includes noticing the things I love about my body, the accomplishments I am proud of, the sometimes small but significant details that make me who I am.

Finally this fall back to love method includes appreciating those around me that love me; my boyfriend, friends, family, pets, neighbors, etc.

For me knowing that my life extends beyond the superficial material items in my life always brings me back to love. Love for myself and love for others.

Stay in Love, Stay in Love
Mercedes Cruz

P.S. Please share this blog post if you find it interesting and/or useful. Sharing is caring.

P.P.S I’m working on a program designed to help you communicate better in both the personal (romantic) and business arena. Coming soon.

I HEAR YOU. When your family has an opinion.

Let’s face it one of the biggest part of our lives is family.

Weather we live around our family or not and if our family consist of 2 or 20 people their opinion of our lives and how we conduct it is a giant part of our lives for many of us.

No matter your nationality, race, or sex your parents and/or siblings and other extended family members have an opinion, just like anyone with a hole does.

And just like holes everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

But this is where your adult communication skills come in. You hear it, you don’t have to listen but you HEAR IT.

You can choose to use it or ignore it, but pretending that this part of your relationship with your family is a requirement is not true.

You, as an adult are not required to listen to or take any ones opinion of yourself or something you’re doing. It is also not your job to make the other individual feel good.

My new practice involves cutting off conversations with any family and/or friend who has an opinion on how I should run my personal life.

Yes they might or might not have 5, 10, or even 50 years of experience, but that is exactly that, ‘their’ own experience.

I can never substitute someone else experiences for my own. That way of thinking and planning will only lead me to ‘someone else’ journey.

Yes all journeys are filled with ups, downs, hurt, pain, joy and laughter but I would rather do it all my own way then be told how to experience my own life.

Wishing you dear reader a week full of romance.

XOXO

Mercedes Cruz

Happy Mothers Day to all of the beautiful Mother’s out there.

Happy Mother's Day.
Happy Mother’s Day.

 

Letting You Know How I Really Feel

Letting you know how I really feel.

Feelings are what we use to describe our emotions at any particular time; sad, happy, mad, fearful, joy, and excitement.

The difference between your feelings and fake feelings are the stories we tell ourselves, our friends, and anyone willing to listen to some of our fake feelings.
I describe these feelings as fake because we use them to disguise how we really feel.I also say this from my personal experience.I have used fake feelings to describe certain emotions.

Hiding behind this fake feeling allowed me to be a victim instead of face the real issue. I have seen my partner do the same with me.

I’ve also noticed that most of my core negative feelings stem from fear and ego.

When I am afraid I deal with by taking out it on my partner or those around me, my ego then creates a story or an excuse about why I’m reacting that way.

For example my ego says something like “Hey it’s not your fault you spoke to him like that he’s a jerk he deserves it”. This story continues into a dangerous downward spiral.

Ego is part of each human beings character, and what decides how we each react when “push comes to shove”.

Substituting or replacing our description of our feelings to suit us is a sad and self-destructive thing.

It’s the difference between taking full responsibility for our actions and blaming others.

When I allow fear and my ego to control me, I am using fake feelings.

“When a person knows themselves inside out, they know the way to their heart. They have trust, respect, and love for themselves and those around them; choosing their actions carefully with control and easy.”

What is my plan to combat this issue? First by acknowledging how I truly feel, second noticing why I feel the way I do, and finally deciding if this feeling serves my needs.

Yes I don’t take for granted that things don’t always work out the way we plan, and that at times I’m going to fall short of what I say I will do.

I also know that there is no need to fear.

As long as I’m moving forward in the direction I want, the positive motivating force will take me where I want to go, not just for one day but for the rest of my life.

When a person knows themselves inside out, they know the way to their heart, they have trust, respect, and love for themselves and those around them.

XOXO
To Romancing Your Life
Mercedes Cruz