Loving Every Day

This week here in the U.S. many of us celebrate Valentine’s Day, on February 14th. It’s a great day but it’s also just another day.

Besides the over commercialized concept behind the day the idea itself is a good one.

On that note, when we consider how lucky we are to be alive and to love and be loved, we start living as if everyday is Valentines Day.

From that perspective there is no difference between today and tomorrow we are grateful everyday for who we are and the people in our lives now.

Thank you dear reader

Loving everyday
Mercedes E. Cruz

Parts of the Sea and Lessons for me

On my recent gatherings with family I am sometimes forced to think about the differences in lifestyle both with regards to communication and extra curricular activities.

When I first met my now husband I said to myself, maybe, I might be able to build a relationship with this man.

While dating him I said “I think I found the love of my life”. Yes I’m sure I said that to myself along with 12 million other adults in the same stage of their romantic relationship.

We’re married now and like all relationships we have our ups and downs. Sometimes it seems like the downs (though days) will sweep our relationship away with the rest of the current. Making it only a memory.

But once the waves return to their once calm state and we are able to focus on what is important to us and why we decided to be together.

In the day to day living the state of our lives are more harmonious together. Just like the sea and the parts that make it whole; waves (both rough and calm), and the animals that live in it, the salt that makes it bitter but still livable, and the sand that allows us to take a break.

Just like the sea our love for each other is large, strong but soothing, mysterious and beautiful, dangerous if not respected, but necessary to this planet/relationship.

 

Stay beautiful
Mercedes E. Cruz

P.S. I invite you to share your comments on this topic.

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Dear 2017 When and Where

This is usually the time of year when most adults, especially women; make a mental and/or physical list of goals for the year.

I for one make a list of goals on a weekly basis, yes weekly. Nothing major like going to the moon and back before lunch time, just small but important to me, goals. One example is finishing a book I’m reading, or exercising every morning before work sometimes I have the same goals every week until my project is complete.

My point dear reader is that just like my goals and my planning for those goals, our relationships are the same. Just sitting around waiting for something to happen is the same is doing nothing.

So yes we, my husband and I have conversations about our future. we have goals; we don’t added them to our calendars, yet, but we will now. I realize that whether it’s your relationship with your neighbor, best friend, husband, boyfriend, lover you need to know where you’re going.

What is it that you both want to do together what new, exciting , boring , fantastic, ok , not so fun but necessary goal would you like to experience with this person. Whatever that may be; going out to the movie theater, the park , traveling locally or abroad, shopping, window shopping, club activities, playing a sport or some other mental game, etc.

These and over millions of other options are all experiences we as adults have the right to enjoy.

So yes next time you speak with your husband, wife, friend, family and the conversation about doing something comes up, go ahead set a date, time and place at that moment and watch it happen.

Because why wait, life does not wait for you so why should you wait to live your life.

Stay beautiful

Sincerely,
Mercedes E. Cruz

Cookies, Gifts, and all you need for the Holidays

So it’s the Holidays, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc. it’s a time of the year when we gather with friends and extended family to celebrate.

Between trays of cookies, the turkey, music and the gift exchange we have our own personal lives going on, including work, husband, children, etc.

And at the end of the day all those things perish. What stays with us are the memories we make with the people who matter.

So all we need is what we already have; complete love and attention for those people in our lives that matter.

Mr. Blackie enjoys the small things in life; time with his sock monkey.
Mr. Blackie enjoys the small things in life; time with his sock monkey.

Stay Beautiful
Mercedes Cruz

Thin Line between Love and Hate

There’s definitely a thin line between love and hate. I’ve heard the expression and seen the movie by the same title.

Previously I failed to see the connection that is our ability to hate and love comes from the same place. (ha ha what a fool, I think to myself as I totally ignored that expression as a silly meme.)

All of the times I was feeling an immense joy and love with my husband is nothing compared to the amount of pain I have felt from our arguments and sometimes sheer disrespect towards each other.

We as humans are wired to remember the pain longer and more often then we are the joy, even if the joyous times outweigh the heart break/pain.

I discovered that by sending my love and the best to my husband as in wishing him a great day and the best of luck in all of his ventures I am also sending myself love and well wishes.

Why? because if you’re a couple your partners success is also yours and vice versa, their love and concern for you is in their best interest.

So even though that thin line between love and hate will continue to exist in all of us, we (husband and I) have decided to live on the side of Love. Staying on the side of love and using the thin line as a guide to to keep us from getting lost.

 

What are your thoughts on this blog post ?

Please leave your comments and any blog ideas you want to share on romance and improving communication skills.

Stay Beautiful
Mercedes Cruz

No Ordinary Love

We’re seated on our couch, in our small and cozy apartment, our bodies keeping each other warm.

This weekend we’re celebrating my husbands birthday, his birthday wish, to spend it at home relaxing with me.

Takeout, snacks, movies and chill.

My husband has never been big on celebrating his birthday,  even as much as I try to make a big deal about it.

I realize that everyone has their own way of celebrating. And just like everyone has their own way of celebrating, each couple has a way of loving each other.

No two couples are a like , we might do the same things as other couples, dinner dates, movie night, coordinate sleeping schedules, but the way we love each other is unique.

We love each other for different reasons and those reasons are what keeps us together.

So just like your birthday which is no ordinary day your love for each other is no ordinary love.

 

Stay Beautiful

Mercedes E.Cruz

 

 

 

Can I TRUST you?

Can I trust you?

I often wonder how people develop trust in a relationship, whether it’s a romantic, friendly or work relationship. At what moment do we say ‘OK I can trust this moutherfucker’ (Yes I said Mofo).

The truth is every one is unworthy of our trust until we give them that trust.

For me trust in my personal relationship comes quicker than I want. I’ve noticed that I can feel at easy and trust someone with in a few weeks of knowing them.

As soon as that person lets me down I feel betrayed, hurt, stupid, upset; yes a whole book of emotions comes up but mostly I feel betrayed; as if the other person had signed a contract on how our relationship would go down.

Is it too much to ask ?

Is is too much to ask the other person in the relationship to stick to the unwritten and unspoken contract, I’ve made up in my head ?

I want to agree with myself and say NO it’s not too much to ask. But the truth is YES, it’s too much to ask.

All I can do is be honest with myself and TRUST myself. Trust myself to make mistakes and correct myself, trust that I will do what is right for me.

And maybe just maybe I can start practicing what I preach. If I preach communication, hey I can start using those practices.

Maybe it can go something like this

ME: I want you’re honest opinion and always appreciate it when you come to me first before making a decision that affects me. I trust you and I want to gain your trust.

FRIEND: No problem, I can do that.

 

Stay Beautiful

Mercedes E. Cruz

 

 

Pros and Cons

As we enter the Fall Season here in the East Coast of the U.S.,the weather is slowly starting to change; temperatures going down, hurricanes are passing by, school is back in session.

This week I watched my husband work with the public, with people who for the most part could care less about the amount of physical and mental energy goes into the food service industry.

Through their actions and words they abused him and he did what he does best when dealing with the public; and kept his composure; no smiles, no fake laugh, just the same great quality for each and every customer.

Working in the food industry is one of his many passions, he enjoys working with people and he understands the side affects of that industry.

Knowing the industry you are most interested in also means knowing the side effects or the “cons”.

Knowing what you’re pros and cons are is also part of the homework.

Stay Beautiful
Mercedes Cruz

 

 

 

Comfort Zone

I have been for the last few weeks contemplating my next move both in my personal life and in my professional career.

Sometimes the topic of “professional career” makes me uncomfortable.

Why?
The same reason you would feel uncomfortable doing something you totally disliked and felt forced because of your circumstance.

I for one really , really, dislike working for a company that adds no value to this planet. That’s where I am now starving for release from my day job to branch out on my own.

Just like a newborn I want to run as soon as I can stand, but like the adult that I am, my subconscious pulls me by the collar when it’s old programing calculates that my actions are not in line with the old me.

all-progress-takes-place-outside-the-comfort-zoneBut this place my mind clings to with such fear no longer exist, in fact it’s never existed. It was the famous comfort zone.

This comfort zone no longer exist in my mind because I turned on the light yes I hit the light switch and it all disappeared.

The room was empty, clean of all the pictures, songs, dances, places and people I had placed in there.

And so I realized that this “comfort zone” is this room in our heads that through programming we design.

You throw everything in there, what you think, see and do then you go about your like, but this room is still there in your mind walking around with you.

I opened the door to this room and turned on the light and here I am standing in a big empty room.

When I walk around I realize it’s more than one room and that I control what goes in these rooms

By leaving the door open I leave myself open to a better me, happier, more out going me with the potential to do and be anything I see.

Comfort Zone goodbye and good night.

Mercedes Cruz
Stay Beautiful

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Come and Talk to Me

Often times when I get up in the morning I feel so grateful for another day on this planet. Other days I forget to give thanks and go straight into work and to do list mode.

I also notice that as I get older, I get wiser. Realizing that to do list and my email will always be there, that the real important things are the people in my life the moments I spend with them and the relationships I create with new people in my life.

Communication is such an important aspect of my life. It’s also an underrated aspect.

Yes talking to your self i.e. affirmations, mantras and journal writing are part of communication. In my view the must important communication we have is with ourselves.

What I think, tell myself and say to others about myself make up who I am.

So yes next time you are worried, scared, mad or just want to talk start with yourself “Come and Talk to Me”. The” Me”  being you.

 

Thank you dear reader for taking time to read my blog post. If you have comments, suggestions, ideas please do share.

Wishing you a fabulous week.

Mercedes Cruz