Dear 2017 When and Where

This is usually the time of year when most adults, especially women; make a mental and/or physical list of goals for the year.

I for one make a list of goals on a weekly basis, yes weekly. Nothing major like going to the moon and back before lunch time, just small but important to me, goals. One example is finishing a book I’m reading, or exercising every morning before work sometimes I have the same goals every week until my project is complete.

My point dear reader is that just like my goals and my planning for those goals, our relationships are the same. Just sitting around waiting for something to happen is the same is doing nothing.

So yes we, my husband and I have conversations about our future. we have goals; we don’t added them to our calendars, yet, but we will now. I realize that whether it’s your relationship with your neighbor, best friend, husband, boyfriend, lover you need to know where you’re going.

What is it that you both want to do together what new, exciting , boring , fantastic, ok , not so fun but necessary goal would you like to experience with this person. Whatever that may be; going out to the movie theater, the park , traveling locally or abroad, shopping, window shopping, club activities, playing a sport or some other mental game, etc.

These and over millions of other options are all experiences we as adults have the right to enjoy.

So yes next time you speak with your husband, wife, friend, family and the conversation about doing something comes up, go ahead set a date, time and place at that moment and watch it happen.

Because why wait, life does not wait for you so why should you wait to live your life.

Stay beautiful

Mercedes E. Cruz

Cookies, Gifts, and all you need for the Holidays

So it’s the Holidays, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc. it’s a time of the year when we gather with friends and extended family to celebrate.

Between trays of cookies, the turkey, music and the gift exchange we have our own personal lives going on, including work, husband, children, etc.

And at the end of the day all those things perish. What stays with us are the memories we make with the people who matter.

So all we need is what we already have; complete love and attention for those people in our lives that matter.

Mr. Blackie enjoys the small things in life; time with his sock monkey.
Mr. Blackie enjoys the small things in life; time with his sock monkey.

Stay Beautiful
Mercedes Cruz

Thin Line between Love and Hate

There’s definitely a thin line between love and hate. I’ve heard the expression and seen the movie by the same title.

Previously I failed to see the connection that is our ability to hate and love comes from the same place. (ha ha what a fool, I think to myself as I totally ignored that expression as a silly meme.)

All of the times I was feeling an immense joy and love with my husband is nothing compared to the amount of pain I have felt from our arguments and sometimes sheer disrespect towards each other.

We as humans are wired to remember the pain longer and more often then we are the joy, even if the joyous times outweigh the heart break/pain.

I discovered that by sending my love and the best to my husband as in wishing him a great day and the best of luck in all of his ventures I am also sending myself love and well wishes.

Why? because if you’re a couple your partners success is also yours and vice versa, their love and concern for you is in their best interest.

So even though that thin line between love and hate will continue to exist in all of us, we (husband and I) have decided to live on the side of Love. Staying on the side of love and using the thin line as a guide to to keep us from getting lost.


What are your thoughts on this blog post ?

Please leave your comments and any blog ideas you want to share on romance and improving communication skills.

Stay Beautiful
Mercedes Cruz

No Ordinary Love

We’re seated on our couch, in our small and cozy apartment, our bodies keeping each other warm.

This weekend we’re celebrating my husbands birthday, his birthday wish, to spend it at home relaxing with me.

Takeout, snacks, movies and chill.

My husband has never been big on celebrating his birthday,  even as much as I try to make a big deal about it.

I realize that everyone has their own way of celebrating. And just like everyone has their own way of celebrating, each couple has a way of loving each other.

No two couples are a like , we might do the same things as other couples, dinner dates, movie night, coordinate sleeping schedules, but the way we love each other is unique.

We love each other for different reasons and those reasons are what keeps us together.

So just like your birthday which is no ordinary day your love for each other is no ordinary love.


Stay Beautiful

Mercedes E.Cruz




Can I TRUST you?

Can I trust you?

I often wonder how people develop trust in a relationship, whether it’s a romantic, friendly or work relationship. At what moment do we say ‘OK I can trust this moutherfucker’ (Yes I said Mofo).

The truth is every one is unworthy of our trust until we give them that trust.

For me trust in my personal relationship comes quicker than I want. I’ve noticed that I can feel at easy and trust someone with in a few weeks of knowing them.

As soon as that person lets me down I feel betrayed, hurt, stupid, upset; yes a whole book of emotions comes up but mostly I feel betrayed; as if the other person had signed a contract on how our relationship would go down.

Is it too much to ask ?

Is is too much to ask the other person in the relationship to stick to the unwritten and unspoken contract, I’ve made up in my head ?

I want to agree with myself and say NO it’s not too much to ask. But the truth is YES, it’s too much to ask.

All I can do is be honest with myself and TRUST myself. Trust myself to make mistakes and correct myself, trust that I will do what is right for me.

And maybe just maybe I can start practicing what I preach. If I preach communication, hey I can start using those practices.

Maybe it can go something like this

ME: I want you’re honest opinion and always appreciate it when you come to me first before making a decision that affects me. I trust you and I want to gain your trust.

FRIEND: No problem, I can do that.


Stay Beautiful

Mercedes E. Cruz



Pros and Cons

As we enter the Fall Season here in the East Coast of the U.S.,the weather is slowly starting to change; temperatures going down, hurricanes are passing by, school is back in session.

This week I watched my husband work with the public, with people who for the most part could care less about the amount of physical and mental energy goes into the food service industry.

Through their actions and words they abused him and he did what he does best when dealing with the public; and kept his composure; no smiles, no fake laugh, just the same great quality for each and every customer.

Working in the food industry is one of his many passions, he enjoys working with people and he understands the side affects of that industry.

Knowing the industry you are most interested in also means knowing the side effects or the “cons”.

Knowing what you’re pros and cons are is also part of the homework.

Stay Beautiful
Mercedes Cruz




Comfort Zone

I have been for the last few weeks contemplating my next move both in my personal life and in my professional career.

Sometimes the topic of “professional career” makes me uncomfortable.

The same reason you would feel uncomfortable doing something you totally disliked and felt forced because of your circumstance.

I for one really , really, dislike working for a company that adds no value to this planet. That’s where I am now starving for release from my day job to branch out on my own.

Just like a newborn I want to run as soon as I can stand, but like the adult that I am, my subconscious pulls me by the collar when it’s old programing calculates that my actions are not in line with the old me.

all-progress-takes-place-outside-the-comfort-zoneBut this place my mind clings to with such fear no longer exist, in fact it’s never existed. It was the famous comfort zone.

This comfort zone no longer exist in my mind because I turned on the light yes I hit the light switch and it all disappeared.

The room was empty, clean of all the pictures, songs, dances, places and people I had placed in there.

And so I realized that this “comfort zone” is this room in our heads that through programming we design.

You throw everything in there, what you think, see and do then you go about your like, but this room is still there in your mind walking around with you.

I opened the door to this room and turned on the light and here I am standing in a big empty room.

When I walk around I realize it’s more than one room and that I control what goes in these rooms

By leaving the door open I leave myself open to a better me, happier, more out going me with the potential to do and be anything I see.

Comfort Zone goodbye and good night.

Mercedes Cruz
Stay Beautiful


Come and Talk to Me

Often times when I get up in the morning I feel so grateful for another day on this planet. Other days I forget to give thanks and go straight into work and to do list mode.

I also notice that as I get older, I get wiser. Realizing that to do list and my email will always be there, that the real important things are the people in my life the moments I spend with them and the relationships I create with new people in my life.

Communication is such an important aspect of my life. It’s also an underrated aspect.

Yes talking to your self i.e. affirmations, mantras and journal writing are part of communication. In my view the must important communication we have is with ourselves.

What I think, tell myself and say to others about myself make up who I am.

So yes next time you are worried, scared, mad or just want to talk start with yourself “Come and Talk to Me”. The” Me”  being you.


Thank you dear reader for taking time to read my blog post. If you have comments, suggestions, ideas please do share.

Wishing you a fabulous week.

Mercedes Cruz


THE SOB that Lives Inside of ME

For those of you readers who have been subscribing to my email for a while you know that I dated my husband for a few years before we recently wed (June 2016).

During my time blogging which has been over a year now, I share with my readers personal information both about myself and my husband.

This sharing of my personal life is not for you but for me.

On that note most of not all the things we as humans do is to satisfy our own ego, yes from helping others to having children its all part of our wants and need.

Our want to be seen and our need to do or control, there’s nothing wrong with it all, it’s all part of our life.

When we peel away at the story we tell ourselves about how and why we are who we are we realize its all about the EGO.

However when we want to accomplish anything of significance to us, for example:

  • Creating goals
  • Moving forward
  • Obtaining your goals

For that you need that SOB ( SON OF A BI&$H ) that lives inside of you to come out and play. Yes when your inner SOB joins you know you’re going some where and that you aren’t coming back empty handed.

So join me in saying THANK YOU to that SOB that lives inside of you and ME. 🙂

Stay Beautiful

Mercedes E. Cruz

I welcome comments, questions and suggestions.

Had I Not

The following Poem is dedicated to my husband/partner/personal counselor.


Had I not listened to you

I would’ve

I could’ve

and should’ve

So many times so little space to make mistakes

But just maybe I would have

never been with you

or could’ve wake up next to you every morning.

Maybe I should’ve, but didn’t

and I’m so glad I didn’t

listen to you.

Because I get to wake up next to you everyday

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